


Five Things Mac Never Told Sue White

by Sab



Category: Green Wing
Genre: (Uploaded by Punk), Multi, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-02
Updated: 2006-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-03 12:38:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sab/pseuds/Sab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does what it says on the tin. (Uploaded by Punk, from iamsab.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Mac Never Told Sue White

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thevaliumsofalj](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=thevaliumsofalj).



1\. Tits: ten. Gams: ten. Mouth: extremely fuckable. Overall: run for your life, this bitch is fucking looney tunes.

2\. Yes, he has had sex with Boyce. Everyone in the hospital has had sex with Boyce, except for Sue White. Boyce doesn't think it's a big deal. When asked, he just shrugs and says, "she's not my type?" Mac often wonders about a world where Alan Statham's a more attractive conquest than Sue White, except when he's in Sue White's office and she's wearing a toucan beak and crushing his bollocks with a steel-toed boot, and then he thinks he can sort of see where Boyce is coming from.

3\. Yes, he has had sex with Guy. Guy has threatened to neuter Mac if word gets out. Mac has told everyone except Sue White, and so far, no one has found reason to spread the story. In fact, most people rush off to vomit or splash themselves with Clorox or stab themselves in the eye after hearing about it.

4\. No, he has not had sex with Joanna Clore. Sue White thinks he has, for reasons Mac doesn't fully understand, but the exit strategy is marvelous. "Joanna's inner thigh..." Mac will muse, and Sue will stand, and point, and oust him from her office, sometimes for days at a time.

5\. Yes, he kissed Caroline. Everyone has kissed Caroline, including Sue White, and Sue White likes to recount the experience, in great detail and with visual cues, whenever Mac comes by the office. In her right-hand desk drawer she's fashioned Mac, Caroline, and Sue White dolls from marzipan and bricks of cheese, all set to a soundtrack from Queen. Sometimes Mac tries to contribute: "Yeah, Caroline's great, isn't she?" But that's when Sue White opens her left-hand desk drawer, the one with the cattle prod and the butterfly net and the aerosolized snow, and that's when Mac has to go home early for the day and bathe in epsom salts and drink till he passes out.


End file.
